Doctor, Doctor

“you gotta learn to accept the truth.”

“you should move on, it’s over, it’s over.”

“enjoy the process.”

“i am not happy, talking to you make the wounds even worse.”

“you are so annoying.”

She left, i went insane.

she even ran further, full throttle.

How could you force a baby to stop crying after disconnected from the womb?

The past mistakes i made keep haunting and lands me even in worse place.

I visited a psychiatrist. he made me waiting for 90 minutes because Jakarta was flooding everywhere. Later that day, i was also in flood of tears and cold sweat.

Good news is now i’m diagnosed with an illness which requires me to take pills everyday, so i can rest, then wake up with agitated feelings at 5.30.

He gave me a paper, it’s a prescription. Written in the way only God knows how to decrypt.

The pharmacist handed me a plastic bag, which takes 1000 years to decompose or end up in turtles stomach, containing the ‘miracle’ pills. You know the side effects, sexual dysfunction, nausea, insomnia, all the nightmare you’d wish never experience.

I am not functioning properly, as an employee. I am afraid that my performance will even be worse and get fired, making my situation more complicated.

Everyday is hell for the last 3 weeks, and still going.

“The broken will always be able to love harder than most because once you’ve been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines.” —Anonymous


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